how self-love has healed my anxiety wounds

Have you ever been in a position where you want to have a drastic change in your life (and you know you can do it), but never have been able to pursue it because some voice in the back of your head keeps telling you “you’re never going to make it” and other 19 voices talking at the same time? If your answer is “Yes”, then head-on and read this article, if your answer is “No”, then you’re one of the lucky ones.

So, how does anxiety affect self-love? 

Before we get started, I want to tell you a little story about the time my anxiety showed me what self-love is. I’ve been dealing with anxiety since I was about 14 years old, but I never got it treated due to the fact that my family couldn’t afford health care and we also didn’t make a big deal out of it. Once I got to college, I saw how even the normal things would trigger my anxiety (come to find out, I also have OCD).

I never thought having anxiety would affect my daily routine and my life. I started losing myself little by little because I didn’t know how to manage my anxiety. I would constantly get anxiety attacks and let’s just say that I wasn’t doing my best for a few years. Starting a blog, reading more, going out with friends, taking long showers and even going out for a walk helped me a little bit but I could still feel bad deep down. 

Living with anxiety can sometimes cause you to forget who you are and not liking yourself because of the constant mess that’s going on in your mind. In my experience, my anxiety made me hate myself to a point where I did not like looking at myself in the mirror. The anxiety got to a point where I did not like the person I was. In that moment I knew I had to do something about it. 

I started by talking about it with family and friends, then I bought a couple of books, and I went to a doctor to see what I could do to get better. Talking about my anxiety made me realize that where I liked it or not, it wasn’t going anywhere. As time went by, I learned how to start loving myself. I started taking care of myself mentally and physically. What having anxiety taught is that you have to take care of yourself mentally because you will never get to where you want to be if you’re unhappy with the person you are. 

No one should lose themselves because of anxiety or any other disorder. Instead of feeling bad for myself, I started to accept that my anxiety was not going anywhere and its part of who I am (I think of it as features). Whenever I started do doubt myself, I looked for reasons not to do so. I started reminding myself of all of my accomplishments and the goals I have yet to achieve. 

I decided to do something about my anxiety without having to seek professional help (not the smartest thing I’ve done). I searched for “home remedies” online and I found out that I wasn’t the only one dealing with anxiety. The ADAA (Anxiety and Depression Association of America) stated that about forty million U.S. adults have an anxiety disorder. Knowing that made me feel a lot better because I knew I wasn’t alone in this journey. 

Anxiety might drive you to think that whatever is happening to you is because you deserve it for having a messed-up head or mindset. I'm not going to sit here and tell you that "it's okay for you to feel like that" because it truly is not. Anxiety clouds your thoughts and takes over your mindset leaving you to be having an unhealthy relationship with yourself. That's why when I think about anxiety, I think about how self-love is being stripped away from you by your own mind. 

As a reminder, count your blessings. I know it's hard because I've been there and it's easier said than done, but reality is that at the end of the day it all comes down to you. You and only you have the power to make yourself happy and that comes from self-love. Some people mistake self-love for being arrogant or narcissistic, which is not true. For me self-love is when you take care of yourself, when you put your happiness first instead of others, when you invest time and energy in yourself in order to make you a better you.

Self-love has healed my anxiety wounds by having me open doors for myself. It has made me realize my self-worth, the kind of people I deserve to have in my life and what I truly want to be. I never said it's easy to begin to love yourself, you will constantly find things about yourself that you won't like, but that's the beauty of all of this. You get to work on yourself for yourself. We only have this life guaranteed, so we might as well make the best of it. People who tend to be more aware or who love themselves, will be recognized as knowing what they want in life and who they are. We shouldn't let anxiety be the judge of our live, but we should accept the fact that we all have our demons to deal with, it’s just a matter of how you deal with it and if you make the best out of it. 

I personally invite you to look for books about self-love and self-help, to re-evaluate the people around you and to cut yourself some slack. Start writing, talk to a friend, go do stuff you'd always wanted to do but never did because your anxiety told you "it's not a good idea because of this and that", try new things, find a new favorite restaurant. In other words, BE THERE FOR YOURSELF.  The journey starts when you want it to start, don't waste any more time feeling bad about your anxiety, rather than spend your time with "self-love".  

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk lol.